My hun and I just spent an absolutely loverly experience in our bathroom.  And in spite of what you think, no, that didn’t happen.  The bathroom just isn’t big enough.

What did happen is that the old bathtub/shower “sealant” (if you can even call it that) failed.  Miserably.  Only we couldn’t really tell until it was well too late in the failure.  Why?  Because it still looked in tact.  What was this horrid product that failed and let water through like a sieve but looked fine?

Why, it was some evil kind of bathroom sealer trim tape.

This stuff was awful.  Once we pealed it away, there was just sooooo much groty mildew growing behind it.  It was nasty!  And it couldn’t have lasted all that long.  We weren’t the dipsh__ts that put it down in the first place.  We only just bought the house a year ago.  This was one of those things I had to mock when I saw it.  And now that I’ve had to clean up after it?

Tape!

You don’t freaking caulk a bathtub / shower with TAPE!

Maybe a product like that might serve a purpose.  Somewhere.  But most certainly not in a bathtub.  I’d say leave it out of the bathroom entirely.

So, the bathtub needed recaulking.  Obviously.  Which required a nasty, messy, gross, allergenic clean up.  With plenty of bleach to kill all of the living organisms.  That sounds bad.

But not nearly as bad as putting down the damn caulk!

Here’s a tip.  Unless you have a shower that you desperately need to use just hours after caulking, do not, I repeat: do not use Polyseamseal Speed Seal Silicone Sealant.  Yes, it’s claim to fame is that it can fast-dry in 2 hours.  And at ten bucks a tube you figure it has to be quality.

Well maybe so, but I’ve never had a caulk that tried to kill me like this stuff did.  You don’t just want to open a window.  You want SCUBA gear!  Seriously.  This stuff will rip your throat raw in no time, the fumes are that nasty.  A day later and I still have a sore throat.

But wait!  That’s not all!

It also applies like glue!  You know how silicone caulk just glides right on.  It’s so smooth and creamy.  You could practically just shape it with your finger.  You almost don’t even need a tool to make it look professional.  Well with this stuff, forget all that!  It’s like a cross between glue and silly putty.  It sticks to everything except the tub.  It pulls its own bead out at the drop of a hat.  It gunks up.  Don’t even bother trying your finger.  No, with this stuff you need a tool, and you need a ton of paper towels to tear into bits to keep wiping that tool with.  It is by far the hardest caulk I’ve ever had to work with.

And that two hours that you can shower in?  Well don’t think of laying that bead of caulk too far ahead of yourself, because that stuff hardens in like five minutes.  So you’ve got to just go tiny inch by freaking inch with a fine-toothed-comb with that stuff or it’ll harden on you before you’ve shaped it into a professional looking line, and then you’ll just have to rip it out and do it again.

Seriously.  If you have the time for caulk to dry, get the normal stuff.  This speed seal is a nightmare to work with!

But in the end, yes, my hun and I managed to successfully recaulk our bathtub.  It took a lot of cleaning.  It took a lot of patience.  It took a lot of time.  And it nearly put us both into the hospital.  But we got it done!  And I can practically guarantee that if you avoid these two “time saving” conveneince products when you (re)caulk your bathtub or shower, you will get it done in a lot less time and have much less reason to complain afterward.

Sometimes technology brings us many great things.

And sometimes technology claims to bring us something great and then kicks us in the family jewels when we’re not looking.